Judgement, seems to be closing in

Miracle, please?

Monday, February 1, 2010

First off, thanks Pamela for reminding me... I'm sure I still miss her. Seventeen months bearing the heartache and waiting, its not tough. What's tough is to accept the fact that she actually hates me, or so she says. I don't know... I just can't seem to forget that period of wonderful times spent together. Right now I just feel like a dead person. Nothing actually matters. Probably because I lost the only thing I ever cared so much about.
I'm an idiot? Yeah, so what? I don't care what anyone says at all. I just wanna live my life, my way. I care for her, I miss her...I still love her. She's attached now, but that does not matter. I just wanna know she's doing well. If I could just see her smile for once more, I feel like I can die in peace.
I don't know what else to say, but I'll never give up. The only think that keeps me going now is probably the hope of being with her again. Otherwise, I'd have already given up on life.

Life. I like living. I have sometimes been wildly, despairingly, acutely miserable, racked with sorrow, but through it all I still know quite certainly that just to be alive is a grand thing. All men have a sweetness in their life. That is what helps them go on. It is towards that they turn when they feel too worn out. What everyone wants from life is continuous and genuine happiness. A good life is the main argument. Only a life lived for others is a life worthwhile. Life is a process of becoming, a combination of states we have to go through. Where people fail is that they wish to elect a state and remain in it. This is a kind of death. Because I have loved life, I shall have no sorrow to die.
In the end, it's not the years in your life that counts. It's the life in your years.

-Awaiting a miracle-
Signing off~ Good bye for now, world.

Sunday, January 3, 2010

I want to be the shoulder you can lie on when you're tired.
I want to be the sleeve you can wipe your tears with when you cry.
I want to be the punch bag you can vent your anger on.
I wannt to be the one to make you laugh and smile, the source of your happiness.
I can be anything, as long as you need me.

I promised to tell you one reason why I love you everyday. For these 15 months, I never failed to take time out to think of a reason. I know I will find more if you were with me.

I want to tell you how cute you look when you frown.
I want to tell you how sweet you look when you smile.
I want to tell you how lovely you look when you fall asleep.
I want to tell you how much I love you .

There is a girl I know,
who I care about more than words can describe.
I do whatever she asks,
without a second thought.
She cares for me too,
this I know,
but sometimes she is mean.
She does it to be playful,
but sometimes it's too much,
or goes too far,
and I'm afraid to tell her,
because of how she might react.

I care for her more than words can say.
She is my inspiration,
my motivation,
my determination,
and my drive.
She is the fuel for my engine,
and the rails to guide my way.
She makes me strive to be more than I am,
even when no one else can.
She makes me want to be a better man.
She can fill me with happiness,
even when nothing else can.
Yet she can knock me down so easily,
that she doesn't even realize,
or think about,
how much she means to me.
I can't stop thinking about her,
night and day.

So again I say,
I care for her more than words will let me say.
I have troubles talking,
or expressing myself
so it's hard to let her know what's on my mind.
I do the best that I can,
but usually it's not good enough.
She is so special to me.
I know that she deserves every bit that I can give,
and even more.
She gives me strength and power,
even in the worst of times.
She enables me to do more than I ever could before.

All the words I say,
cannot even begin to express the way I feel,
or the caring that I have for her.
I wish I could pull my life together,
and make myself even half of what I know she deserves.
She has more potential now,
than I can ever hope to see in myself in my entire life.
I've changed my life,
and my ways around her,
trying to better myself.
I try to do whatever she would ask of me,
but you see,
changes come oh so difficult to me.
I care for her more than I can make my words say.
For her I live,
day by night,
day by day,
by day.

Day 330

Thursday, September 24, 2009

It's been 330 days without her. Tough it may be, I shall carrying on living, and continue waiting. As always, I've got nothing on to do, really. No job, no money, no friends who are free... what can I do all alone? Movies and movies, I'm really getting sick of this style of living. Even my wheelchair-bound neighbour is having a better life than I am. Maybe... Just maybe, I'm reluctant to step out and take a look, because couples are everywhere. And really, just looking at people holding hands remind me of her.

I miss you.
Without you, I'd rather remain a bachelor.

I'm waiting, still.

Lyrics | Elliott Yamin lyrics - Wait For You lyrics

Thursday, September 17, 2009

I'm going crazy. 24/7 facing my bedroom walls...the more i look at 'em, the more i feel like going head-on at 'em. I need an escapade. Cooping myself up just makes my mind wonder, and think about some stuff, stuff which i shouldn't even be thinking.
I need a different life.

whatever

Can someone get me out of this FUCKING, ROTTING HOUSE?
I just need some people to call me out, seriously.
Holidays have been boring, especially after she left my side.
I can't get a job, no one to hang out with... ROT, ROT, ROT! EH FUCK ON ME!
GET A LIFE?! YEAH, LOOK! I'M TRYING. TRYING TO GET A LIFE!
Its seems so hard to just even find someone to go out with.

Celine Dion - Because you loved me lyrics

Sunday, September 13, 2009

Lyrics | Celine Dion lyrics - Because You Loved Me lyrics

because you loved me.

Sunday, August 30, 2009

Bad day. Rot, rot, rot. I planned everything with you in. Without you, life has been stagnant. One year has past but I'm still waiting. I can wait forever. "Letting go is another way to love" Yeah, I understand. But promise me one last thing - Don't forget me, don't remove me from your heart.
Sleepless nights for a year now. How can I sleep with my pillow wet?

Love is patient, love is kind.It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud.It is not rude, it is not self-seeking.It is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs.Love does not delight in evil, but rejoices with the truth.It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.Love never fails.
I Corinthians 13:4-8

Live life

Sunday, August 23, 2009

"Weixuan, cheer up!" I get that everyday. What's there to cheer up for? Rot at home in front of a laptop? Looking at old photos? Thinking about weird stuff that I shouldn't even be thinking?

I'd really cheer up if I could, but I just can't. Some things just cling onto you, you can't forget them.

I know you won't come to my blog, but I'll still post this. Looking at the time right now, I realised that its been a year, exactly 365 days, since it all happened. I went to your house to meet you. We went to your room, chatted and I fell asleep. When I woke up, you were looking at me, clinging onto my arm. I looked at you and smiled. The first thing you said was, "Baby, you look so cute when you're asleep." My reply was, "Darling, I love you." And you followed, "Will our love last forever?" I replied, "Yes, definitely!" I'm almost too sure of one thing - you have forgotten about this. We might not be together, you can have a guy, your love for me is not there, but I will continue to love, care and think of you. From the day I told you I love you, I knew it'd be forever. I know it. Baby, I will wait for you.

Attitude

Monday, July 13, 2009

The colossal misunderstanding of our time is the assumption that insight will work with people who are unmotivated to change. Communication does not depend on syntax, or eloquence, or rhetoric, or articulation but on the emotional context in which the message is being heard. People can only hear you when they are moving toward you, and they are not likely to when your words are pursuing them. Even the choices words lose their power when they are used to overpower. Attitudes are the real figures of speech.

The basic thing is that everyone wants happiness, no one wants suffering. And happiness mainly comes from our own attitude, rather than from external factors. If your own mental attitude is correct, even if you remain in a hostile atmosphere, you feel happy.
The remarkable thing is that we really love our loved ones as ourselves: we do unto others as we do unto ourselves. We hate others when we hate ourselves. We are tolerant toward others when we tolerate ourselves. We forgive others when we forgive ourselves. We are prone to sacrifice others when we are ready to sacrifice ourselves.

The truth is that our finest moments are most likely to occur when we are feeling deeply uncomfortable, unhappy, or unfulfilled. For it is only in such moments, propelled by our discomfort, that we are likely to step out of our ruts and start searching for different ways or truer answers. Then, without realizing it, you try to improve yourself at the start of each new day; of course, you achieve quite a lot in the course of time. Anyone can do this, it costs nothing and is certainly very helpful. Whoever doesn't know it must learn and find by experience that a quiet conscience makes one strong. Everything can be taken from a man but ... the last of the human freedoms - to choose one's attitude in any given set of circumstances, to choose one's own way.
And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our fear, our presence automatically liberates others.

The greatest discovery of our generation is that human beings can alter their lives by altering their attitudes of mind. As you think, so shall you be.
So is cheerfulness, or a good temper, the more it is spent, the more remains. To succeed, we must first believe that we can; To fly, we have to have resistance. You cannot dream yourself into a character; you must hammer and forge yourself one. If you think you can, you can.

Friday, July 10, 2009

Firstly, TAMMIE ASKED MT TO BLOG! LOL!
We're all mad~~~~~~
MAD MAD MAD~ HA HA HA~muahahahhahahahahahhahhaha
Everyone ah~ 17th July hor~ at Yishun Safra hor, gt this person ah...dont know who what weixuan ah...he want to celebrate his birthday sia.
ALL COME THROW CAKE AT HIM AH! nono i mean...ALL COME THROW PRESENTS AT HIM AH!

-reality check-
I want her to turn up, I really hope she would.
Having not seen her for such a long time, I wonder how she really is doing.
Waiting is all I can do. The wait might last forever, but I'll wait.
Hoping is all there is to it. The light of hope will be there in my heart, forever it shall shine.
Life's like that...full of hope...

Wednesday, July 1, 2009

The world is filled with love, love of all kinds - friendships, kinships and affection. Without love, what would become of mankind?
It is love towards our country and families that countries started to attack other countries. They were afraid that other countries would attack them and pose a threat to their families. It is also love that made the people defend their countries and fight back.
The world is filled with love. Everything can be explained with love. People are happy as they feel loved. People also feel sad when are don't feel love.
All in all, love is the reason for everything, also the reason why we're living - to love and feel loved
Its just amazing how love can be the cause of every single thing on this planet.

Saturday, March 14, 2009

Life on the planet is born of woman. All men have a sweetness in their life. That is what helps them go on. It is towards that they turn when they feel too worn out. Life is rather like a tin of sardines - we're all of us looking for the key. And in the end, it's not the years in your life that count. It's the life in your years.

Life is just a chance to grow a soul.

The personal life deeply lived always expands into truths beyond itself. People living deeply have no fear of death. Only when we are no longer afraid do we begin to live.

Love life and life will love you back. Love people and they will love you back. Only a life lived for others is a life worthwhile. Because I have loved life, I shall have no sorrow to die.

Life is a process. We are a process. The universe is a process.
How we spend our days is, of course, how we spend our lives.
A good life is a main argument. What everyone wants from life is continuous and genuine happiness.

The great art of life is sensation, to feel that we exist, even in pain.

My candle burns at both its ends;

It will not last the night;

But oh, my foes, and oh, my friends --

It gives a lovely light.

If I can stop one heart from breaking,

I shall not live in vain.

If I can ease one life the aching,

Or cool one pain,

Or help one fainting robin

Unto his nest again,

I shall not live in vain

They are not long, the weeping and the laughter,

Love and desire and hate:

I think they have no portion in us after

We pass the gate.

They are not long, the days of wine and roses;

Out of a misty dream

Our path emerges for a while, then closes

Within a dream.

Tell me not, in mournful numbers,

Life is but an empty dream!

For the soul is dead that slumbers, and things are not what they seem.

Life is real! Life is earnest!

And the grave is not its goal;

Dust thou art; to dust returnest,

Was not spoken of the soul.

I've looked at life from both sides now

From win and lose and still somehow

It's life's illusions I recall

I really don't know life at all.

Norbert Capek

It is worthwhile to live and fight courageously for sacred ideals.
O blow ye evil winds into my body's fire, my soul you'll never unravel.
Even though disappointed a thousand times or fallen in the fight and everything would worthless seem,
I have lived amidst eternity -
-Be grateful, my soul -
-My life was worth living.
He who was pressed from all sides but remained victorious in spirit is welcomed into the choir of heroes.
He who overcame the fetters giving wings to his mindis entering into the golden age of the victorious.

Wednesday, February 25, 2009

Quite fun the last few days, other than the rain that is.
-Made some new friends (glad to do so)
-Listened to Pam's grudges (hey, don't stop doing that yeah? im totally fine with it)
-L4D with yj, edwin, and ye (we seriously have no coordination)
-Hanged out with ye & carol last night (that was so...NOT cool)
-Thought of...her.

Its tough, but I have to hang on. There's nothing left for me to do. Wait, is all I can do.
Tough as it may be, it will all become sweet. That, is what I believe.
Even those salty teardrops, they will all turn sweet.

I love thee,
I love but thee
With a love that shall not die
Till the sun grows cold,
And the stars grow old...

upcoming chalet :O

Wednesday, February 18, 2009

OH gosh. Wednesday already.
Can't wait for Saturday to come(:

Done this just awhile ago. =x
You should try it out too.

Life's like that. Things just don't go the way you want. Some people wanna get stuck somewhere, while others wanna break free. While some people wanna shower a person with love, others just don't wanna bask in love. What is love? Can it be seen? Can it be felt?

I'm feeling numb. The Grand essentials of happiness are: something to do, something to love, and something to hope for. Do you have them all? Maybe most people do.
I have someone I love. I have something I hope for. I have something I should do, but I'm not doing. Perhaps its because I know it will be futile.

I hold it true, whate'er befall;
I feel it, when I sorrow most;
'Tis better to have loved and lost
Than never to have loved at all.

New look, new life.

Tuesday, February 17, 2009

So, time flies.
I've reached a point whereby things can only start from the beginning.
Perhaps it'd be better if I had given up on certain things, but I'll perservere, till my last breathe.

Life has a new meaning - await judgement to befall on me.

Let the wait begin.